| Sometimes love is great! Other times love hurts. | | | | Give Grace: We are all human, and we all make |
| Experiencing love is a Universal need, so how do | | | | mistakes. Some mistakes are worse than others, |
| we heal and love again when our loved ones have | | | | and some mistakes hurt more than others. Most |
| hurt us? | | | | of us are doing the best we can in any given |
| Sometimes our loved ones hurt us. Dads can get | | | | situation. People make choices based on their past, |
| physical or disappear from our lives. Moms can | | | | their belief systems, and the past and collective |
| betray us with their anger and lack of support. A | | | | thought of humanity. Unfortunately, people |
| best friend can shock us by turning their backs on | | | | sometimes make choices that hurt us. We need |
| us. A spouse can be unfaithful and destroy our | | | | grace when we make choices that hurt our loved |
| trust. Our children can take a destructive path | | | | ones, and our loved ones need grace as well. |
| that is sure to crush our heart. These are some | | | | Accept the Love Deposits: When we are hurt, it |
| of the big hurts in life that leave us wondering | | | | is sometimes difficult to accept the apologies and |
| how we will ever heal. | | | | attempts to make amends from our loved ones. |
| But there are little hurts too that can build into | | | | Maybe your guard has been thrown up and |
| mountains of resentment if we don’t | | | | you’re unsure if you can trust again. One |
| address them. Angry words are exchanged during | | | | way to heal a wounded heart is to allow yourself |
| an argument. A friend neglects your friendship. | | | | to truly feel the sincere love deposits that are |
| People take you for granted without even | | | | made to your emotional bank account. Maybe the |
| knowing it. Your child rejects you in a moment of | | | | love will come from the person who hurt you, but |
| hurt and frustration. | | | | maybe it will not. Seek out and embrace the love |
| To hang on to hurt or anger is destructive to our | | | | that is being given to you. |
| emotional, spiritual, physical and relational health. It | | | | Grieve the Sadness: With hurt comes sadness. |
| drains our energy, strains our relationships, and | | | | Maybe you feel sad about what happened. |
| zaps the joy from our life. So how do we heal | | | | Perhaps you feel sad about what you |
| our heart when love hurts? Here are some | | | | didn’t receive. Sometimes the sadness is |
| suggestions to help you move beyond the hurt | | | | an indication that you need to grieve the loss of a |
| and get on with enjoying life. | | | | dream. Allow yourself to feel the sadness |
| Confront Your Anger: Our initial reaction when | | | | — let the tears flow. Crying is a very |
| someone hurts or betrays us is often anger. | | | | cathartic ritual. |
| Maybe we feel violated or disrespected. We want | | | | Set Appropriate Boundaries: When our loved ones |
| to perhaps lash back and make the other person | | | | hurt us continually, we may need to set |
| hurt. Refrain from doing that. Anger expressed | | | | boundaries for healing to take place. A child may |
| when we are hurt can be distorted and damaging | | | | need to go to his room when his anger is |
| to our relationships. Take some time to handle | | | | destructive. You may need to end a conversation |
| your anger in another way. Talk with a trusted | | | | with someone who is hurting you. It’s |
| friend, counselor or life coach. Express your | | | | even possible that you need to end a relationship |
| feelings in a journal or write a letter to the person | | | | that is repeatedly hurting your self-esteem. |
| who hurt you (but don’t give it to them). | | | | Healing cannot take place if we don’t take |
| Seek Truth and Understanding: How can you | | | | care of ourselves. And people will not begin |
| better understand the person who hurt you? | | | | treating us with respect until we respect |
| What truth do you need to know about the other | | | | ourselves. |
| person? Sometimes people hurt us because they | | | | Forgive: Lastly, we need to forgive so that we |
| are hurting too. Other times people hurt us | | | | can move on with life. Forgiving does not mean |
| unintentionally. Ask for the truth and be willing to | | | | that we condone our loved ones behavior. It does |
| hear, accept and embrace it. Share your truth and | | | | not mean that we allow others to keep hurting us. |
| help the other person understand you. | | | | To forgive means to give up all resentment and |
| Search for the Lesson: Experiencing pain and | | | | the desire to punish the other person. In our |
| suffering is not easy. However, there is usually a | | | | heart, it means we’ve cancelled the debt |
| lesson to be learned from our pain. What | | | | we feel others owe us. |
| aren’t or weren’t you paying | | | | Sometimes the only way to know love is to |
| attention to? What does this experience teach | | | | experience what love is not. Whatever the |
| you about yourself and the other person? What | | | | question, challenge or decision, love is always the |
| changes need to be made as a result of your | | | | answer. God is perfect love, and His desire is for |
| pain? While the human drama includes pain, we | | | | us to model His character. Healing from hurts |
| have a choice in how to view it. | | | | moves us closer to love. |