| Flourish is such a beautiful word. I was thinking | | | | It's also very difficult to maintain the energy for |
| about the difference between merely "surviving" | | | | creativity; we're so off-balance and exhausted |
| versus "thriving" the other day and the idea of | | | | from the effort of surviving that we can easily |
| flourishing came to mind. Like a geek, I went to | | | | become numb and completely void of inspiration. |
| my dictionary. Here's what it said: | | | | That brings us to spirituality. For many there is an |
| Thrive: to do well | | | | empty feeling inside, which can create a tendency |
| Flourish: to grow, prosper | | | | to try to fit an imperfect human into the space |
| While I've been thriving along quite nicely for a | | | | we all have that is meant for something greater. I |
| while, I wondered what would it take to flourish. | | | | tried doing this for years without success and as |
| What are the elements I would need to focus on? | | | | I've watched clients try to do the same, I now |
| Like a cybergeek, I went to Google. Here's what I | | | | clearly see that no mere mortal can ever |
| learned: | | | | adequately fill that space within. Asking a person |
| Psychologists name three ingredients of flourishing: | | | | who is an addict or an alcoholic to meet that need |
| 1) Intimacy -- a safe, loving relationship with | | | | for us, is asking way too much of them. They |
| another | | | | buckle under the pressure, and we are constantly |
| 2) Creativity -- creating things of lasting benefit | | | | deeply disappointed. |
| 3) Spirituality -- transcending the self through love | | | | The good news is that we always have a choice |
| for something greater | | | | in whether we survive, thrive, or flourish. Making |
| They also observe that only 20% of the | | | | change starts with awareness of where you are |
| population is flourishing; while another 20% is | | | | now... and setting an intention for where you want |
| languishing at the other end of the spectrum. | | | | to go. |
| Looking at these three ingredients from the point | | | | For today, just look at intimacy. What changes |
| of view of someone who loves an addict paints a | | | | would you like to make in your relationships to |
| pretty bleak picture. It is nearly impossible to find | | | | generate more intimacy in your life? Perhaps you |
| true intimacy with a person who is battling | | | | can start with the person in the mirror. How can |
| addiction. One of the aspects of addictive | | | | you take better care of yourself? What can you |
| relationships is that one or both of the partners | | | | do to get to know you better? Can you reach |
| substitutes intensity for intimacy. That explains | | | | out to friends and renew your connection with |
| the dramatic ups and downs -- it's all very intense, | | | | them? If they are tired of hearing about your |
| but it's not truly close. Any illusion of closeness is | | | | dealings with your addict, then firmly resolve to |
| merely due to an unhealthy attachment -- a | | | | talk about other things. A more positive focus will |
| feeling of "well, at least we're in this mess | | | | do you a world of good. |
| together." | | | | |