New Age Book Review - To Be and How to Be

p>To Be and How to Bein ourselves and in others if we are to make a
Transforming Your Life through Sacred Theatrepositive change in our lives.
By Peggy RubinThe book is set out in nine chapters which deal
My first thoughts about the title and book werewith various aspects concerning The Power Of:
to ask how the theatre is relevant to anythingIncarnation, Story, Now, Place, Expression, Point
new age or within the category of self help.of View, Conflict, Audience, Celebration. Having
However, reading the prologue answered myestablished the reasons for our existence and the
question and I can state it is relevant in everystories were are likely to encounter in life in the
way. I reminded myself of the theory of"Power of Incarnation" and "The Power of Story".
Transactional Analysis whereby from our earlyThe following seven chapters are concerned with
years we are given a life script from which wean explanation of these issues together with what
then 'act out' for the rest of our lives for betterI would describe as coaching on how to deal with
or worse. The term 'acting out' was frequentlythe situations raised and act out various scenes in
used in my social work days whereby younga positive way.
people would act out the difficulties they wereFor instance with regard to the chapter "Power of
experiencing at home as disruptive behaviour andAudience" under the heading of "Relating To Our
sometimes we adults do exactly the same thing.Own Audience" subheading "The Long Table of
The lesson we needed to learn fromCommunion" it says "So your friends and family
Transactional Analysis was to throw away thewatch and listen as you 'play your life." It goes on
script we have been given and write our own, butto say "If their conditioned response is too
given the enormity of what that can entail verynegative, you may need to change your
few people are able to do that even if they knewaudience."
how. I also reminded myself of the value ofThis is contrary to conventional wisdom and
psychodrama whereby scenes are acted out toconditioning which tells us to reply on friends and
help tackle certain behaviours and help peoplefamily in times of trouble and stress. Therefore, if
re-learn in order to achieve positive outcomesunder extreme circumstances Peggy Rubin is
instead of doing the same old self destructiveseriously suggesting that if you want to change
thing. With regard to spirituality I agree that "Theyour life, then you also need to change your
great play that we enact with our lives is afriends and family, because if she is, then I fully
sacred play whether we know it or not."support her in saying so.
In the prologue I liked "Blessed Be The Opposition"Under the heading "Pause Please" we are invited
for we can grow as a result of our conflicts withto ask "Who of my friends supports the fulfilment
our enemies but when we try to step outside ourof my life play at the highest level?" A very good
script given by those close to us they are thequestion to ask before you find out the hard
first to hold us back. In chapter one the "Powerway, or if you have friends who will do this then
of Incarnation" explains that we are what we areyou are truly blessed.
because of the way in which we are treated byI have read many theories and self help books
others. This leads to the conclusion that we needwhich I equate with going to the gym, yes, for a
to change other people's perception of ourselveswhile it works wonderfully, however, the most
if we are to realise our full potential. In "The Wayfallible side to human nature takes control as
of Service through Healing" Peggy Rubinanything that requires sustaining an effort will fail.
reinforces Maslow's hierarchy of needs to makeThen the theories and strategies not only get put
the point that it is helping and healing of othersto one side they also get discredited never to be
that gives us the greatest rewards in life.believed or used again with the well worn
In the section "Incarnating The Role You Want"rationalisation for failure "I tried that and it didn't
we are told that despite our misfortune we canwork".
make the decision "I'm turning my life around. UntilWhat I like and admire about To Be and How to
now I've been a victim, now I'm a lover. This isBe is that in times of crises we often ask
true, the hard part is resisting the temptation toourselves how am I going to 'play' this one? In
go for the role that people know only too wellthat respect I would look to this book not for
and in which they feel safe irrespective of theanswers as we are being credited with having
abuse they suffer. Within this there are issues ofthem within ourselves, the important thing is that
taking responsibility, when we are the victim wewe are being given professional coaching to help
can blame others, but when we make our ownus conduct ourselves in an appropriate way.
mistakes we can only blame ourselves.In that respect this book will always be relevant,
The book sets out eight different plots or scriptsand something you can always turn to for
which most of us have acted out at sometime inguidance. If it didn't work then blaming the book
our lives. It also gives some very sound coachingwould be to miss the point that you literally need
as to how we can deal with these situations.to get your act together as they say, perhaps
Perhaps the most powerful plot is thePeggy should have done a chapter on the Power
"Unrecognised Virtue" which uses Shakespeare'sof Rehearsal! So instead of giving up we can get
The Winters Tale as an example. It's not justit right the next time.
unrecognised virtue that is the issue but theThe book is a very easy and enjoyable read and
abuse of power and authority within the familywhat I admire about Peggy Rubin is that she
that needs looking at in more ways than one toobviously has considerable personal experiences of
see why so many children grow up feelingthe issues she raises. An excellent book 5 Stars
worthless! Yes we all need to recognise the giftsand highly recommended.