| Tools to Tame a Temper: Self-Awareness and | | | | up inside. |
| Self-Control | | | | - Exercise. Go for a walk/run, work out, or go |
| Because anger can be powerful, managing it is | | | | play a sport. Lots of research has shown that |
| sometimes challenging. It takes plenty of | | | | exercise is a great way to improve your mood |
| self-awareness and self-control to manage angry | | | | and decrease negative feelings. |
| feelings. And these skills take time to develop. | | | | - Listen to music (with your headphones on). Music |
| Self-awareness is the ability to notice what you're | | | | has also been shown to change a person's mood |
| feeling and thinking, and why. Little kids aren't | | | | pretty quickly. And if you dance, then you're |
| very aware of what they feel, they just act it | | | | exercising and it's a two-for-one. |
| out in their behavior. That's why you see them | | | | - Write down your thoughts and emotions. You |
| having tantrums when they're mad. But teens | | | | can write things in lots of ways; for example, in a |
| have the mental ability to be self-aware. When | | | | journal or as your own poetry or song lyrics. |
| you get angry, take a moment to notice what | | | | After you've written it down, you can keep it or |
| you're feeling and thinking. | | | | throw it away — it doesn't matter. The |
| Self-control is all about thinking before you act. It | | | | important thing is, writing down your thoughts and |
| puts some precious seconds or minutes between | | | | feelings can improve how you feel. When you |
| feeling a strong emotion and taking an action you'll | | | | notice, label, and release feelings as they show up |
| regret. | | | | in smaller portions, they don't have a chance to |
| Together, self-awareness and self-control allow | | | | build up inside. |
| you to have more choice about how to act when | | | | - Draw. Scribbling, doodling, or sketching your |
| you're feeling an intense emotion like anger. | | | | thoughts or feelings might help too. |
| Getting Ready to Make a Change | | | | - Meditate or practice deep breathing. This one |
| Deciding to get control of your anger — rather | | | | works best if you do it regularly, as it's more of |
| than letting it control you — means taking a | | | | an overall stress management technique that can |
| good hard look at the ways you've been reacting | | | | help you use self-control when you're mad. If you |
| when you get mad. Do you tend to yell and | | | | do this regularly, you'll find that anger is less likely |
| scream or say hurtful, mean, disrespectful things? | | | | to build up. <embed id="T_stressInarticle_SWF" |
| Do you throw things, kick or punch walls, break | | | | class="right" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" |
| stuff? Hit someone, hurt yourself, or push and | | | | width="250" height="40" src=" |
| shove others around? | | | | name="T_stressInarticle_SWF" align="right" |
| For most people who have trouble harnessing a | | | | quality="high" movie="/misc/movie/teen/T_stress |
| hot temper, reacting like this is not what they | | | | T_stress.swf"></embed> |
| want. They feel ashamed by their behavior and | | | | |
| don't think it reflects the real them, their best | | | | - Talk about your feelings with someone you |
| selves. | | | | trust. Lots of times there are other emotions, |
| Everyone can change — but only when they | | | | such as fear or sadness, beneath anger. Talking |
| want to. If you want to make a big change in | | | | about them can help. |
| how you're handling your anger, think about what | | | | - Distract yourself. If you find yourself stewing |
| you'll gain from that change. More self-respect? | | | | about something and just can't seem to let go, it |
| More respect from other people? Less time | | | | can help to do something that will get your mind |
| feeling annoyed and frustrated? A more relaxed | | | | past what's bugging you — watch TV, read, or |
| approach to life? Remembering why you want to | | | | go to the movies. |
| make the change can help. | | | | These ideas can be helpful for two reasons: |
| It can also help to remind yourself that making a | | | | 1. They help you cool down when you feel like |
| change takes time, practice, and patience. It won't | | | | your anger might explode. When you need to cool |
| happen all at once. Managing anger is about | | | | down, do one or more of the activities in the list |
| developing new skills and new responses. As with | | | | above. Think of these as alternatives to taking an |
| any skill, like playing basketball or learning the | | | | action you'll regret, such as yelling at someone. |
| piano, it helps to practice over and over again. | | | | Some of them, like writing down feelings, can help |
| Other Ways to Manage Anger | | | | you release tension and begin the thinking process |
| The five-step approach is good when you're in a | | | | at the same time. |
| particular situation that's got you mad and you | | | | 2. They help you manage anger in general. What if |
| need to decide what action to take. But other | | | | there's no immediate problem to solve — you |
| things can help you manage anger too. | | | | simply need to shift into a better mood? |
| Try these things even if you're not mad right | | | | Sometimes when you're angry, you just need to |
| now to help prevent angry feelings from building | | | | stop dwelling on how mad you are. |